I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
