I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
