I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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