fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she smelled like a LAN party
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
