I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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