He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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