i already hear my dad disowning me
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
