and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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