Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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