I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
