I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Are we still banned from the library?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
