1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
