I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
