I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
