im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
