I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
