my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
