I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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