i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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