How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
