He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize