Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize