She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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