Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
