I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
