His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
