biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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