I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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