hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
