David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize