Soap is not a condiment
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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