dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Let the clothes fall where they may.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
