If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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