at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
