I feel great
I just peed on a car
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
