im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize