apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
