No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
