Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
