The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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