I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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