Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
