Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm at about main and main street
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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