I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
