I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
