Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
