the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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