using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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