Little spoons don't ask big questions
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
