first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
