I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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