I murdered the dance floor call the cops
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
