OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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