Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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