Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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