You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
