Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
