My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
