i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
