I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
