I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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