is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
