So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize