But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
