I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
