haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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