Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
