He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize