We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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